Dearly Beloved, We are Gathered Here Today to Celebrate this Thing Called Life

We've all heard the joke and it goes something like this:  Poll after poll shows that Americans' greatest fear is public speaking.  We even fear it more than death.  That means that at a funeral, most Americans would rather be IN the coffin than standing there giving the eulogy.

Giving a eulogy requires a different sort of preparation than most public presentations.  It is one of only a couple of instances in which manuscript speaking is both encouraged and appropriate.

The best discussion of eulogizing can be found in an Esquire magazine article I stumbled upon a few years ago.  Is this a good time to mention that I think everyone should read Esquire?  It has spot-on tips on fashion and grooming as well as compelling and thought-provoking articles on celebrities, books, movies, pop culture, current events, social issues and everyday life.

Do yourself a favor:  read this article and you'll actually hope for the chance to put these eulogizing tips into practice.

It's all in your hands

I don't like it when presenters hold an electronic device when they are speaking. There.  I said it.  Call me old fashioned.  Call me old. Ostensibly speakers who are doing this are using the device as a note card.  I think what they're actually doing is sending a message to their audience to check their phones.

A laundry detergent brand had this great commercial a few years ago in which someone went for a job interview with a stain on his shirt.  The interviewer was so distracted by the stain, that she could barely maintain attention to what the interviewee was saying.  The commercial turned the stain into a talking stain because just the appearance of the stain created a lot of interference or noise for the interviewer.

Cell phones are ubiquitous.  Every public speaker is in competition with the cell phones that their audience members hold in their hands or have in their pockets, their purses, or on their laps.   Why send an unintentional message to your audience reminding them of their cell phones?  I don't think there's any reason good enough to do so.

Studies show that the act of writing things down can help you remember them.  Writing or typing out note cards with key words will aid in your retention of the information.  Presenters do not spend enough time preparing or rehearsing as it is so taking the time to write out note cards is the least they should aim to do.

In addition, too many things can and do go wrong when giving a presentation.  Batteries can die.  Items can be dropped and damaged.  Take the time to create legible note cards on sturdy paper and be sure to number them in case they get shuffled up.

My undergraduate students will often tell me that they hope they will become such proficient presenters that they will no longer need note cards.  I disagree with that goal.  Key words can help you stay on track and your thoughts in order and yet you will still be able to maintain eye contact with your audience.

Consider going back to paper note cards if you haven't in a while.  The next time you take the podium, the audience doesn't need one more reminder that something interesting might be happening on their phone. 
 

Still writing out a script whenever you have to present?

My ten year old son had to give a speech to run for a student council position in his fifth grade classroom.  I did everything I could to STAY OUT of his speech preparation process.  And I largely succeeded.

He sat down with a notepad and wrote up a speech after googling a few videos of random student council speeches on YouTube.  He then read off his speech a couple of times to various family members.

I didn't want to influence his content or delivery.  I mean, let's face it, what ten year old needs professional speech coaching from someone, his mother by the way, with a doctorate in communication who teaches oral communication at a university?

Well, I'm happy to say he won the election:  he was one of two students with the most votes.  I asked him a million questions about the speeches he heard from the other candidates.  Of the seven candidates, all but one wrote out and read their speeches.  I'm collecting data....six out of seven ten year olds will write out their student council speeches.  Only one will speak extemporaneously, or conversationally.

I guess that's why so many adults still rely on writing out a script when they have a presentation to prepare.  It's what we know.  It's how we've always done it.   I contend that reading off a prepared manuscript is not the most effective way to present.  It's okay for some occasions, like eulogies and commencements.  But as speakers gain experience and content knowledge, they should aim to speak conversationally from key words on note cards.

Think of it this way:  when we can't swim, we rely on floaties or inflatables to stay afloat.  When we take the time to learn how to have confidence and skill in the water, we learn to swim unassisted.  And to do that, it takes time and practice.

I hope you will spend the time to learn how to swim without inflatable assistance.  And by that I mean, take the time to speak conversationally from key words on note cards.  Your audience will thank you.

Sitting on the couch - not just for therapy!

We frequently envision that when we will presenting in front of a large group we will have a podium.  For many, it provides a place to put notes or a bottle of water.  It can also act a welcomed barrier between them and the audience.  While the speaker may find it to be like a security blanket, it really is just that:  a barrier between them and the audience.  In my Public Speaking classes and workshops, I frequently have the participants give their presentations without using a podium.  A small table or even a podium to the side of the speaker can hold notes, water, tissues, or whatever else is needed.

More and more we are seeing the use of the couch or big comfy chairs on a stage for speakers to use when speaking to a large room.  This allows a moderator or host to ask questions of the presenter, resulting in a more interesting presentation for the audience.

The couch shown here doesn't seem particularly conducive for comfortable, up-right sitting.  If you're asked to take a seat on a couch on stage, don't be surprised to find that it's not the size or shape that's right for you.  You may need to sit on the edge of the couch or chair to allow yourself to hold a more upright position.  Or else have pillows stacked behind you.

Keep in mind that energy levels may drop when seated.   Many presenters prefer standing while speaking because it allows them to focus on their posture and body language while speaking in a commanding and loud fashion.

Placement of the couch or chairs on the stage is also a factor.  This arrangement seems a bit far back from the audience.  Perhaps the furniture should be closer to the front of the stage.

Be prepared for any possible arrangement whether it's a podium, a stool, nothing at all, or a couch.  Whenever possible, ask in advance what the arrangement will be or ask for what works best for you.

photo credit:  Batoul Farran, PhD 

But how will I become a more confident in public speaking?

If this blog post is where you expect to find the magic bullet, well then, you'll be disappointed to find that there is no magic bullet.

Becoming a more comfortable and confident public speaker is not something you can do by reading an article or by watching TED talks.  It takes practice.  And that means seeking out those opportunities.

Where can you find these opportunities?  How about the next conference you plan on attending?  Are they looking for speakers? 

How about joining a local Toastmasters group?

How about leading an information session or in-service for newer colleagues in your organization?

Seeking out these less threatening opportunities to hone your public speaking skills will build your confidence and allow you to practice a variety of public speaking techniques.  This means that the next time you HAVE to give a presentation (to your bosses, big clients, etc), you will have more experience from which to draw.

Don't just look for opportunities to give presentations.  Tell people that you are willing and able to present to their organizations, work groups, clubs, or societies.  Being open and willing to present to others and then actually doing it?  Now THAT's a magic bullet to improving your public speaking abilities.

Make sure your next conference doesn't just include networking - like the conference attendees pictured here in balmy Seville, Spain -  but also a chance for you to take the stage.

Now THAT'S an introduction!

We've all been there:  a business event or a fundraising gala.  Seems like everyone needs to be introduced before they can take the podium.  What makes for an effective introduction?

A good rule of thumb is to offer up something to the audience that they cannot find in the program brochure.  When the speaker's bio is already in the program brochure, you don't want to spend your time rehashing that information.  And when this is taken to the extreme, it can be excruciatingly boring.  Maybe you've been in the audience when someone introduces a speaker by reading off their bio word-for-word from the program.  Don't be that guy.

Instead, if you have a personal connection to the speaker, share an anecdote that is unique to your relationship with the speaker.  If you are introducing someone with whom you do not have a personal connection or history, never fear.  You could always take the time to meet with the speaker before your introduction and, if you're lucky, you might glean a useful insight or tidbit to share with the audience.

But if you don't want to leave that to chance:  consider doing some research in advance.  I've even phoned an honoree's executive assistant in order to make contact with the honoree's spouse or close friends.  A quick phone conversation with someone's close friends or associates will yield interesting and inspiring material that will make your introduction stand apart.  The speaker himself will be touched by your effort and the audience will enjoy hearing a personal and little-known story about the speaker.

Just don't go overboard.  I was in the audience this past year when an internationally known finance guru was introduced by someone he had never met before.  The young woman doing the introduction certainly did her homework on the speaker:  her introduction was dynamic and detailed and told us how the speaker had influenced and inspired her own career.  Problem was it was too detailed.  And she went on at length about her own accomplishments to the extent that it was uncomfortable to hear her go on and on about herself when the focus should have been on the speaker himself.

An effective introduction should be brief and selfless.  Your role is to set up the speaker for taking the podium and the limelight.  Put some effort into the introduction but leave the real show for the speaker.

Need to prepare a presentation? Have lunch with a friend.

You're on a deadline.  You have to deliver a presentation.  Maybe you have to explain something that's new to a group of colleagues.  Maybe you're trying to drum up new business.  Or maybe you're trying to recruit students to your university.  Do you start by choosing a PowerPoint template?  Do you begin by opening up a Word document and crafting your opening line?

I'm going to suggest something a little different.  Imagine yourself explaining your main message to a friend.  At lunch.  What words would you use?

We speak differently than we write.  Now is not the time to write out your remarks, like a script. Now is the time to channel that voice you use when explaining something to a friend.  Be yourself.  Be conversational.  Use vivid examples.  And if you actually DO have lunch with a friend or colleague and begin hearing yourself, you will find the words that feel comfortable to you when you speak.  And you will see for yourself which examples fall flat or cause your friend to wrinkle her brow in confusion.

It's not necessary to adopt a different persona.  Be yourself.  Ask yourself "How would I describe this to a friend at lunch?"  And then make that happen.  We still crave face to face contact.  Have lunch with a friend or colleague and actually look them in the eye and talk.  It's great practice for that speech that you have to prepare.

The TED Talk Effect...helpful or harmful?

Everybody seems to be watching TED talks.  And while those audiences are always filled with real live breathing human beings, most of us tend to watch TED talks on our phones or other screens.  (Watching a TED talk on your phone is NOT the same.  More on that in future posts.)

If you are trying to hone your public speaking skills, just how effective is it to watch TED talks?

Many times it can be discouraging to see speaker after speaker delivering a flawless, entertaining and informative presentation.  These presenters seem so poised, confident and natural.  The average TED talk viewer may not realize that literally HOURS go into preparing these presentations.  Consultants and coaches may spend days helping a presenter prepare for a single TED talk.  And while the presentation itself seems off-the-cuff because of the ease with which she or he is presenting, these are primarily memorized presentations from a carefully crafted manuscript.

Most busy professionals do not have the time nor team of experts to help them prepare a presentation of this caliber.  Nor should they.  Manuscript speaking is not the most effective way to get your message across when speaking live in front of an audience.

Don't be fooled by these TED talks.  It's harder than it looks.  Watch them?  Yes.  Be inspired?  Yes. Learn new information that you can apply to your life?  Yes.  But don't  let them create unrealistic expectations for your next presentation.

There is hope.  You CAN be a dynamic and engaging presenter.  But not by writing your speech out in advance.  Stay tuned.