We've all heard the joke and it goes something like this: Poll after poll shows that Americans' greatest fear is public speaking. We even fear it more than death. That means that at a funeral, most Americans would rather be IN the coffin than standing there giving the eulogy.
Giving a eulogy requires a different sort of preparation than most public presentations. It is one of only a couple of instances in which manuscript speaking is both encouraged and appropriate.
The best discussion of eulogizing can be found in an Esquire magazine article I stumbled upon a few years ago. Is this a good time to mention that I think everyone should read Esquire? It has spot-on tips on fashion and grooming as well as compelling and thought-provoking articles on celebrities, books, movies, pop culture, current events, social issues and everyday life.
Do yourself a favor: read this article and you'll actually hope for the chance to put these eulogizing tips into practice.
I find it interesting that people fear public speaking more than death, especially eulogy. Because a eulogy seems like it should be natural because you usually will not speak about someone you know nothing about. But, I can see why its feared. Manuscript speaking is a very tricky thing in my opinion. Although you are reading from something, you must keep eye contact. I think that would be hard to do for most people including myself. What are some tips or some advice for manuscript speaking?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. When someone is speaking from a prepared script, I think it is important to be thoroughly prepared and to spend time rehearsing. Rehearsals can teach a speaker which words to emphasize, which words to omit, which words to change, went to pause, and on and on. Rehearsals will also lead to some memorization which will allow the speaker to be more "in the moment" when making delivery choices during the speech. A well rehearsed speech from a manuscript will entail lots of eye contact, vocal variety and facial expressions. The key is to be prepared so your eyes are not glued to the papers in front of you or the teleprompter. Hope that helps!
DeleteFirst, I feel that the lengths one will go to in avoiding death, when compared to avoiding public speaking, clearly illustrate the fallacy of the survey on "top fears". It's easy to say your top fear is something you face constantly (the possibility of having to speak in front of people) as opposed to rarely if ever (dying).
ReplyDeleteSecond, (and you knew this was coming) I blame the public schools! Speech is an important skill and kids should have to speak in front of people from a young age; then it wouldn't be such a common fear. But for some reason school curricula these days are pretty light on practical skills...
Third, I believe the less a eulogy sounds like a prepared speech, the better it will come across. You probably should do some preparation, but the speech really ought to comprise things you naturally want to say, and what you truly want the audience to remember about the person. And if you don't have much then keep it short. Don't try to force humor or emotion.
Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Chuk - thanks for pointing out the flawed survey construction! And yes, you make a good point: public speaking is an important skill and schools should start teaching it early! When my own children were still in elementary school, I was shocked to see that they were learning how to incorporate power point in their classroom presentations! Not sure if that helped or hindered their ability to feel comfortable speaking in front of a group of their peers!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments about what makes for an effective eulogy. I don't disagree with anything you wrote. I think the allowance for a prepared script when delivering a eulogy is because of the likelihood of speakers becoming overly emotional and losing their train of thought. But I suppose that is to be expected at a funeral and that most in attendance would be understanding and touched to see a genuine outpouring of emotion.