Dearly Beloved, We are Gathered Here Today to Celebrate this Thing Called Life

We've all heard the joke and it goes something like this:  Poll after poll shows that Americans' greatest fear is public speaking.  We even fear it more than death.  That means that at a funeral, most Americans would rather be IN the coffin than standing there giving the eulogy.

Giving a eulogy requires a different sort of preparation than most public presentations.  It is one of only a couple of instances in which manuscript speaking is both encouraged and appropriate.

The best discussion of eulogizing can be found in an Esquire magazine article I stumbled upon a few years ago.  Is this a good time to mention that I think everyone should read Esquire?  It has spot-on tips on fashion and grooming as well as compelling and thought-provoking articles on celebrities, books, movies, pop culture, current events, social issues and everyday life.

Do yourself a favor:  read this article and you'll actually hope for the chance to put these eulogizing tips into practice.

The Press and the Presidency

It's not everyday that three award-winning national journalists come to Wayne State University to discuss the role of the media and presidency.  This Tuesday, October 24th, from 1-4 pm, Devin Scillian, WDIV anchor, will be moderating this event on the Wayne State campus.  Try to attend if you can. It's one thing to flip channels and see opposing viewpoints.  It should be more interesting to see the sparring in person.

Public Speaking Lessons from New/Digital Media

Digital Media.  New Media.  I find the terms confusing but I love learning about this concept.

Wayne State University has a minor in New Media and here's a short description of the coursework from their website:

Interested in new/emerging media and technology? The new media minor may be perfect for you. The Department of Communication created the minor in new/emerging media for the consideration of all students at Wayne State. Expertise in new and emerging media enhances any major. Expand your comprehension of contemporary communication practices — including digital, mobile and social media — while learning some of the most effective ways to interact in this continuously evolving environment. Focus on both critical and creative tools across disciplines to build upon your specific goals and interests.

How does this relate to Good 'Ol Public Speaking?  At the very least, it seems that we are much more likely to rely on new media to obtain information than in attending a live public presentation.  On the other hand, new media gives us access to live public presentations from all around the world either live or shortly thereafter.  In turn, if we pull off a smashing public presentation we now have the capabilities to self publish that online and it could even go viral.

So when Jason Kristufek, a digital editor at the Post and Courier in Charleston, was available to speak to my class, I jumped at it.  Yes, he works at a newspaper.   But it seems that when he looks at stories for publication, he looks at them the same way I do when I look at a presentation topic.  He asks himself:  how can we get the audience to interact with this story?  He talked with us about the importance of story telling and of finding a variety of ways for our audience to interact with our stories. In other words, it's all about making the story relevant and compelling to the audience.  While he may consider whether that's through an online documentary or a podcast, I pester my students to find ways to make their live, spoken words come alive for their audiences.

If a digital storyteller is thinking of ways to interact with the audience, shouldn't a live and in person storyteller do the same?  Many times presenters shy away from asking for a show of hands.  Or requesting a volunteer from the audience.  Or inviting someone to offer an example.  But if audiences can have more interaction on a digital platform than in a live setting, do we run the risk that audiences will stop showing up?

Communication is as old as time.  But whether writing on a cave wall, standing on a box in the town square, delivering newspapers door to door,  or scrolling through your Facebook, in many ways it hasn't changed much at all:  the audience wants to be involved and to feel relevant.

Profanity? Know Your Audience!

I'm trying something a little different this semester in my Oral Communications class at Wayne State University.  Students are being asked to attend public speaking events on or around campus so that they can learn from presenters with various communication styles.   Mort Meisner of Mort Meisner Associates was speaking on campus to students majoring in Public Relations and so I alerted my students about this opportunity.  I was even lucky enough to be able to attend his presentation myself.

Mort is a real pro when it comes to delivering presentations.  He is dynamic, conversational and a natural story teller.  He encouraged questions throughout his talk and handled them with skill and honesty.

His message was direct:  be persistent in forging relationships with people in the industry.  He cautioned the students that they needed to be ready to go to any lengths to meet people and ask for career assistance.  He advised them to "do everything but stalk, or else you are being lazy."

Mort has a direct, flamboyant and colorful manner of presenting.  But he didn't use profanity in his colorful stories.  At least not until he did one thing first.

At the most dramatic part of one of his many stories, Mort stopped and asked the audience of college students a question.  He asked if they were bothered by profanity.  Nobody was.  But then Mort asked the audience that question a second time - wanting to make sure that nobody would be offended by the words he was about to say.

Knowing his audience, Mort probably guessed nobody would object.  Profanity is much more prevalent in society today than when I was an undergraduate.  But kudos to him for checking - not once, but twice - before continuing on with the story.

Was the profanity absolutely necessary to understanding the message?  Probably not.  But it did convey to the audience that he was passionate about helping those who are just starting out in the field.  The use of profanity was deliberate and appropriate.  It never hurts to ask first.

It's all in your hands

I don't like it when presenters hold an electronic device when they are speaking. There.  I said it.  Call me old fashioned.  Call me old. Ostensibly speakers who are doing this are using the device as a note card.  I think what they're actually doing is sending a message to their audience to check their phones.

A laundry detergent brand had this great commercial a few years ago in which someone went for a job interview with a stain on his shirt.  The interviewer was so distracted by the stain, that she could barely maintain attention to what the interviewee was saying.  The commercial turned the stain into a talking stain because just the appearance of the stain created a lot of interference or noise for the interviewer.

Cell phones are ubiquitous.  Every public speaker is in competition with the cell phones that their audience members hold in their hands or have in their pockets, their purses, or on their laps.   Why send an unintentional message to your audience reminding them of their cell phones?  I don't think there's any reason good enough to do so.

Studies show that the act of writing things down can help you remember them.  Writing or typing out note cards with key words will aid in your retention of the information.  Presenters do not spend enough time preparing or rehearsing as it is so taking the time to write out note cards is the least they should aim to do.

In addition, too many things can and do go wrong when giving a presentation.  Batteries can die.  Items can be dropped and damaged.  Take the time to create legible note cards on sturdy paper and be sure to number them in case they get shuffled up.

My undergraduate students will often tell me that they hope they will become such proficient presenters that they will no longer need note cards.  I disagree with that goal.  Key words can help you stay on track and your thoughts in order and yet you will still be able to maintain eye contact with your audience.

Consider going back to paper note cards if you haven't in a while.  The next time you take the podium, the audience doesn't need one more reminder that something interesting might be happening on their phone. 
 

The Elephant in the Room

I love it when popular magazines discuss the techniques of effective presenters.  Inc. recently did a quick analysis of a Sheryl Sandberg presentation that has been making its way around the internet.  You can view the actual presentation by going to The Wall Street Journal's clip here and then read the analysis.

Deborah Grayson Riegel does a great job breaking down some of the basics of public speaking for Inc. readers. She points out how Sandberg ties her remarks to what's on the audience's mind:  the Harvey Weinstein scandal.  It seems like an obvious thing to do, but my undergraduate students at Wayne State University often struggle with this.  I often tell them:  if you're giving a presentation on thunderstorms and you find yourself presenting to a group while a thunderstorm is raging outside, it's going to seem odd if you don't reference it.

Saturday Night Live used to have a recurring skit in which Bar Mitzvah Boy was so intent on sticking to his prepared script that he couldn't even answer simple questions that Seth Myers asked.  Rather, Bar Mitzvah Boy would nervously return to his prepared remarks, leaving the obvious question hanging in the air.

Try having the flexibility and confidence to be in the moment and improvise ever so slightly to tie your message to the obvious, the unavoidable, and the now.

Breaking the Ice

I recently talked about Oral Communication with Graduate Students and Postdoctoral Fellows in the Department of Pharmaceutical Sciences at the Eugene Applebaum College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences at Wayne State University.

The Department Chair, Dr. George Corcoran, did a wonderful job making me feel welcome.  We did a kind of impromptu warm-up act for the students as they made their way into the classroom.  I was trying to learn the students' names but was having difficulty since they were unfamiliar names to me.  I shared with them how difficult it is to retain information that is completely foreign and that it took me quite a few times of being exposed to my own son's name (Nadim) until I could remember it easily.

We joked around with the students about whether Dr. Corcoran should introduce me or not, since it is common for introductions to be bungled.  So instead, he asked if he could share a tie story with the students.  I took a seat and gladly agreed.  It's always a treat to see how other speakers handle a room.

He launched right into a short description of the tie he was wearing - it was a Jerry Garcia tie and he explained who Jerry Garcia is and then even talked about whether or not the tie even coordinated with his outfit.  It seems that Dr. Corcoran has an impressive tie collection and that he makes a point of beginning his classes by talking about the uniqueness or origin of the tie he is wearing that day.

It's a great idea to have a fall-back plan on how to begin a class or presentation.  One of my colleagues in Communication at Wayne State University opens his classes by asking the students what they have been following in the news that week.  I frequently ask an attendance question, a simple question that can be answered easily by the students as I call their names and take attendance.

When you are ready to get down to the business of talking about your topic, a speaker should launch right in and begin with a compelling attention getting device.  But before that, it's a great idea to break the ice a bit with the audience, set the tone, or give them a chance to participate in some small way.  You may not have an exhaustive collection of ties, but a few go-to questions or anecdotes come in handy when you are establishing rapport with an audience.

Is a fear of public speaking hold you back?

I was making small talk with someone recently and when she found that I teach public speaking, she told me about her 8th grade daughter who wanted to run for student council but wouldn't if it meant she had to give a speech in front of the whole school.

I frequently draw analogies between public speaking and swimming.  A fear of water can be psychologically devastating, inconvenient and even dangerous.   A fear of public speaking can mean that you are opting out of important personal and professional opportunities because you will do anything not to speak in front of a group.

Take a few minutes to watch this video about how a young man overcame his fear of water.  He made a significant investment of time and money to obtain private instruction over a three week period but it did pay off.  He can now go in the water and even float and swim.

There is no substitute for repeated exposure, practice, constructive feedback and more practice if you want to overcome a fear of speaking in public. Doing so will allow you to embrace opportunities that you have been avoiding.  What do you have to lose?

Can an introduction impact someone's career advacement?

So what if I told you that the way you introduce someone could impact that person's career trajectory?

Are female physicians afforded less respect than their male counterparts when introduced in academic settings?

A Mighty Girl recently posted about this and so I tracked down the published research that an article in The Washington Post discussed.

You can read the research findings and their possible implications,but what it boils down to is that men and women physicians are introduced differently.  Put simply, female physicians are introduced with Dr. in front of their names at a lower rate.  And while this may or may not impact credibility and career trajectories, it is worth nothing.

Play close attention to how you introduce your colleagues and be sure you are being consistent in affording honorific and professional titles.

Still writing out a script whenever you have to present?

My ten year old son had to give a speech to run for a student council position in his fifth grade classroom.  I did everything I could to STAY OUT of his speech preparation process.  And I largely succeeded.

He sat down with a notepad and wrote up a speech after googling a few videos of random student council speeches on YouTube.  He then read off his speech a couple of times to various family members.

I didn't want to influence his content or delivery.  I mean, let's face it, what ten year old needs professional speech coaching from someone, his mother by the way, with a doctorate in communication who teaches oral communication at a university?

Well, I'm happy to say he won the election:  he was one of two students with the most votes.  I asked him a million questions about the speeches he heard from the other candidates.  Of the seven candidates, all but one wrote out and read their speeches.  I'm collecting data....six out of seven ten year olds will write out their student council speeches.  Only one will speak extemporaneously, or conversationally.

I guess that's why so many adults still rely on writing out a script when they have a presentation to prepare.  It's what we know.  It's how we've always done it.   I contend that reading off a prepared manuscript is not the most effective way to present.  It's okay for some occasions, like eulogies and commencements.  But as speakers gain experience and content knowledge, they should aim to speak conversationally from key words on note cards.

Think of it this way:  when we can't swim, we rely on floaties or inflatables to stay afloat.  When we take the time to learn how to have confidence and skill in the water, we learn to swim unassisted.  And to do that, it takes time and practice.

I hope you will spend the time to learn how to swim without inflatable assistance.  And by that I mean, take the time to speak conversationally from key words on note cards.  Your audience will thank you.

Wait - did she really say that?!

A couple of years ago I was sitting in the audience when a speaker used the the r word.  She was a competent and dynamic speaker and frankly, I was shocked.  And while she continued speaking without missing a beat, I was already mentally preparing in my head what I was going to say to her privately at the next break.   I planned to tell her that I found that word offensive and not appropriate.

As the speaker wound down and segued into a break, she surprised me.  She took the time to circle back to her earlier comment and apologize. She said it simply, plainly and, to my assessment, genuinely.  It wasn't overly apologetic and she didn't rationalize her use of the word in any way. She didn't equivocate and say that she apologized if she had offended anyone.  She simply apologized.

Now she could have apologized immediately and that would have been okay too.  I suspect, if it had been  me, I would have been quite flustered and overly emotional if I had attempted to apologize immediately.  I would like to think that as she finished up that segment of her speech, she was quickly rehearsing in her mind how she would handle the apology.

We all misspeak.  We all make mistakes.  Own up to yours and simply apologize if it's appropriate.

Sound Bites

I had the opportunity to hear from Morgan Spurlock, the documentary film maker behind Super Size Me.  The format was that of a conversation with the evening's moderator asking questions to various film makers.  This was not an overly rehearsed event.  In fact, the format just kind of evolved as the evening's moderator found that several well known film makers accepted his invitation to be a part of the evening.

Many of these on-stage conversations were kind of rambling and as I sat in the audience for two hours, my attention waned.  But that all changed when Morgan Spurlock took his seat on the stage.  It was clear that he has had fair share of media training, or at least experience with talking to the media.

Spurlock's every answer was concise and powerful.  His rate of speaking was noticeably faster than the other film makers on stage that evening.  His energy level was also higher than those who spoke before him.  This made a huge difference.  Even though he was the last speaker of the evening, it was much easier to pay attention to him.  Enthusiasm is contagious.  The next time you take a podium, give off the enthusiasm that you wish the crowd will display toward you and your message.

Storytelling

Last week I had the pleasure of hearing a story from Shannon Cason on the stage of the Detroit Film Theatre.   I have always wanted to attend a moth storytelling event but have never been able to carve out the time to do so.   I happened to be at the DFT last week to hear from documentary film makers and Cason's storytelling was an unexpected bonus on the program.

Unlike the process of including a story within a presentation, storytelling events feature only the story, on its own.  I have heard storytelling on public radio and on podcasts, but to hear one performed live in front of me in a large theater, was another experience entirely.

Cason's personal story is compelling and it involves robbery, gambling, addiction, love of family and redemption.  As I listened to him I found myself talking out loud in response to the suspense, saying things like, "Oh no!" and "No way!"  I was very much aware that I was part of an audience and it felt almost like I was on a roller coaster ride as I found myself being tossed and turned emotionally.

Storytelling like this involves careful planning and practice.  Every word has an impact.  Editing and rewriting is key.  And let's not forget about delivery - it needs to be genuine and yet peppered with vocal variety and dramatic pauses.

Storytelling can add drama to your next presentation and a good story will also make your message memorable.  I encourage you to make the time to see some real artists at work by checking out a live storytelling event.

The Power of a Story

Zonya Foco is a nutritionist and motivational speaker who can masterfully handle large crowds.  I have seen her speak in person a couple of times and have always been impressed.  It's not always easy to invite audience participation, as she does here with my daughter, but she is so skilled in what she does that it seems to always pay off for her without mishap.

Zonya's public speaking skills could be the subject of multiple blog posts, but I would like to mention today how she uses the power of a story to impart information about health and nutrition.

We've probably all heard about the importance of planning ahead when it comes to healthy eating.  But instead of just putting that advice on a list of tips, Zonya took the time to tell us about that through the use of a quick story.

She set the scene by telling us how she was visiting an old college friend and how they got caught up with each other's lives while sitting in her friend's kitchen on a school day afternoon.   Zonya told the story of how her friend was trying to prepare dinner for her busy household and her kids started coming through and asking about what they could eat until dinner.  Zonya's friend pulled out a beautiful glass plate from the fridge that was laden with cut up vegetables.  The kids were able to snack away while dinner was being prepared, thereby averting any unhealthy snacking.

Zonya told us how impressed she was with this and how she asked her friend about it.  Her friend told her that the dish was a family heirloom and she decided to use it more often and get joy from it.  She told Zonya that she simply kept it filled with washed and prepped veggies so that when the kids needed to eat and she needed to prepare dinner, it was ready to go into service.

The power of a story is that it allows the audience to create a visual and a scene while learning the information.  I have often wondered whether this is a true story or if it was crafted by a professional motivational speaker to effectively illustrate a point.  Does it matter?  What does matter is that the speaker is able to share information that will be remembered long after the presentation is over.

Thanks for the tip, Zonya!  

No pictures needed

In contrast to what I wrote yesterday, sometimes it's effective to leave the slide presentation at home and present without a presentation aid.

A few years back I attended a series of lectures related to the autoimmune condition known as scleroderma and the need for medical treatment, support systems and fundraising.  I had the pleasure of hearing from a scleroderma patient, advocates, medical professionals and...a professional make up artist.

I didn't know what to expect when the make up artist took the podium.  She was soft spoken and unassuming but she delivered a powerful and carefully prepared speech.  She started out by talking about her experiences working with celebrities on movie sets and in glamorous locales.  It was certainly interesting to hear about a line of work that was new to me, but what really grabbed my attention was when she segued into a touching story about applying makeup to someone who suffered from an autoimmune condition that led to excessive growths all over her face and neck.  The speaker took the time to describe the woman's fragile demeanor and lowered self esteem and how that changed as she took the time to carefully apply make up to her face.   It was the first time this woman had bothered to have makeup applied and the process of someone doing so had a therapeutic and empowering effect on the woman.

There were no before and after pictures.  We had to rely on the presenter's words to convey to us the transformation that had taken place.  The power of her carefully chosen words were felt by everyone in the room.  The presenter read slowly and dramatically from a prepared manuscript, not something I typically recommend.  But in this case, it worked beautifully in conveying the deeply personal process of making over someone physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Even though I have never seen a picture of this woman, the story was told with such detail and insight that I have never forgotten it.

Bringing Your Topic Right to the Audience

I had this great idea a few years back.  I wanted my home schooled children and their friends to talk with working artists about their art, the creative process, and the business of making art.  The students were located in Birmingham, MI and most of the artists had their studios in Detroit but that didn't stop us from bringing the artists right to us.

It worked out even better than I anticipated.  The artists were able to show us slides of their art and we could see the transitions they made as artists over the years.  We could see images of their earliest works, when they were still in high school.  One artist even showed us photos of the art that hung in her childhood home so that we could see what her earliest influences were.

Showing slides on a screen can allow a presenter to focus on particular details.  Sometimes this can allow for a deeper discussion and easier viewing than had we visited the art pieces in person.  A couple of months later, we did take the students on a field trip to one of the Wayne State University student art galleries, but our earlier session with the slides really helped set the stage to appreciate the gallery visit all the more.

A public speaker should always be on the look out for ways to incorporate images in her presentation.  Once I had a student give an informative speech about coffee and it was frustrating, for me at least, to be in the audience and watch her pantomime the process of making coffee as a Starbucks barista.  It would have been much more effective had she showed us an up-close image of the actual equipment or maybe even a short (20 second) clip of the process itself.

Go to the trouble of preparing good quality images to show your audience.  It can really make the topic come alive and help the audience to understand your message.

Take Me To Church

I have always been really interested in the homilies and sermons you can hear at places of worship.  Growing up in the Catholic tradition, the homilies at Mass usually range from 5-15 minutes.  I have heard my share of them.  Some are boring.  Most are forgettable.  Many are thought provoking. 

More and more, Americans are church shopping and are often attracted to places of worship that have a dynamic and entertaining speaker.  Traditionalists may balk at this.  But one thing's for sure:  there's a worship service out there for everyone nowadays.  And there are valuable lessons for public speakers at these services.

I was thrilled to be able to attend a Catholic Mass recently at the Dahlgren Chapel at Georgetown University.  I attended a Jesuit University and have fond memories of attending Mass on campus.  In addition, the celebrant, Fr. Greg, was someone I have known since childhood.  And while the true highlight of a Catholic Mass is the Liturgy of the Eucharist, or the part of the Mass in which bread is transformed into what is believed to be the Body of  Christ, I was most looking forward to the homily, or the 5-15 minutes when the priest speaks  to the congregation about that week's Scripture or whatever else is on his mind.

When it was time for his homily, Fr. Greg came bounding down the steps from the altar to be closer to the congregation.  The first words out of his mouth were about our love of superheroes and how they are rarely all good or all bad.  He went on from there to talk about Star Wars Episode 4 (the first movie made, for those of you who get confused by the numbering) and the character Han Solo.  From there, he talked about a Netflix series he had binged, The Good Place.  He tied it all together by talking about the need for more good in the world.  And for us to do good for that reason alone, and not for personal gain.  In all, it was memorable and inspiring. 

As a public speaker, Fr. Greg hit it out of the park.  He was theatrical, genuine, thoughtful, humorous and interesting.  He made a point to establish eye contact with all four sides of those seated around (and even behind) the altar.  He related his main message to the lived experiences of those in the congregation.  He made his message real for us.

Effort was apparent in everything he said and did.  The audience could see that he spent time crafting his remarks and making them relevant to those gathered there.   Audience members know when a speaker has made the effort or if he or she is just phoning it in.

Whether at a church, synagogue or mosque, consider taking the time to check out the oratorical skills of a spiritual leader.  There are many lessons to be learned.

How y'all doing?

At a recent cocktail party in Washington D.C., a new face took the microphone to say a few opening remarks to those gathered at an international conference.  His remarks were peppered with the phrase y'all as it was his preferred way of referring to the plural you.  He was new to D.C., having recently relocated there from the southern part of the country.

I really didn't think much of it at the time but is it possible that some in the room felt differently upon hearing this grammatical variant from the South?  A blogger for Scientific American discusses this possibility and you can read about it here.

So that got me thinking: what if a speaker pronounces ask as ax?  A discussion of that can be found here.

Are you inadvertently judging others by their word choices?  Should you? 

Memorable Opening Lines

I asked my students recently to tell us about the most memorable speech they have heard in person and to explain why it was memorable.  Deryk told us about a speech he attended in high school.  He said that the speaker's opening line was, "Do you have big butts?"

Deryk went on to explain that this was the speaker's way of pointing out to the audience that we often let our but's or our excuses, get in the way of achieving our goals.

This example shows that our opening lines give us the opportunity to make a lasting impression on our audiences.  Don't throw away your opening lines by telling us your name or the topic of your presentation.  Tell us something we will never forget.  Tell us something we will remember long after the speech is over.  Make an impression like the impression that was made on Deryk.

Let the Product Do the Talking

Donors and close friends of Wayne State University were recently invited to the Masonic Temple to hear from Wayne State President M. Roy Wilson about the latest happenings on campus and the status of the Capital Campaign.  It was a lovely evening with food, cocktails and mingling but the real star of the show wasn't President Wilson.

While the President did give a brief update about the University, he spent the bulk of his time at the podium moderating the remarks of four Wayne State undergraduate students.  After introducing each, he allowed them to say a few remarks about their experience on campus as a student.

This is always a gamble.  When I used to plan and host Visit Days at another university, a great deal of prep time was always spent recruiting and rehearsing with college students to allow them to take the microphone and talk to prospective students and parents.  It's not easy to find students who will willingly do this and who can be engaging and conversational while also saying what you want them to say.  The goal is for the students to appear poised and polished, while also coming off as genuine and unscripted.  What often results is that some students appear overly practiced while others seem like they could have used a bit more rehearsal time.

While President Wilson is always an engaging presenter, the audience enjoyed hearing from the students.  We got a little different flavor of the Wayne State experience every time the microphone was passed.  This variety kept our interest and we could see where our donations are going and the impact we are making.  Don't be afraid to let your product take the microphone, be they clients, customers, students or patients.  Just be sure you rehearse with them first.

I love feedback!

I invited a guest speaker to my class to talk about APA formatting and avoiding plagiarism.  This material can be quite dry and it was refreshing to hear someone else's take on it.  Even though I was pretty familiar with APA formatting, I learned some new things and it's always a good idea to have a refresher every couple of years.

What I enjoyed about Phil's presentation was that one of the first things he told the students was, "I love feedback!"  And he seemed to mean it.  He told us right up front that he likes to hear from the audience when he asks them if they understand something.  He told us to say yes or no or anything so that he would know if we were following along okay.  He was insistent, so much so, that when he asked us throughout the presentation if we understood something, it was common for someone to shout out, "Yes!"  How different this was from most presentations when the speaker barely gets a response when asking that same question.

I have learned that I sometimes have to ask someone more than once if they understand something before they will tell me that they don't.  Maybe it's because we don't like to appear as if we're not following along.  Be the kind of presenter that goes out of her way to make sure that the audience does, in fact, understand your message.